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Happy Anniversary
view some great jokes
sex
view some great jokes
Brother Kelley
Happy Anniversary

My wife and I just celebrated our twentyth wedding anniversary. Yeah, we renewed our vows of celebacy. I haven't had sex for twenty years. I'm so horny, I can't drive from Sacramento to San Franciso without getting a boner. The rolling hills remind me of the 50 foot woman lying on her green hairy back. I pull over a lot.

She was a virgin when we married. Yep, pretty naive. It took me three years to convince her my penis wasn't a pull toy. Man, she would be on that thing like it was a lawn mover pull string. Oh yeah, I'm still reminding her that my nutsack isn't a stress ball! She thinks oral sex is funny. Everytime I ask her for it, she laughs. I say, "Just kiss it." She gives it a little peck. I say, "Now kiss it in a foreign language."

I didn't realize how controlling she was until one night she was doing the deed really good. I was beside myself. I started yelling, "Oh God, that's good. Do that! Do that! DO THAT! She jumped up and said, "Don't you fucking tell me what to do." I say, "No, no, no, no, no, no . . . ," in my whiny voice. I end up whimpering like a lost pup. If I do it long enough, she eventually smiles and we do it doggy-style.



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