view some great jokes
For the men
view some great jokes
adult-situations
view some great jokes
Nige
For the men

I was sitting watching ESPN when the Mrs came into the lounge and says, "Fancy a shag, Babe?" I said, "After the football love." She said, "You do realise that you can record it?" I said, "Nice, you get the camcorder, I'll come upstairs when the football finishes". _________________________________________ My girlfriend has just asked me how many women I've shagged. I said, 'I really dont want to answer that love, you know I've had a past & I don't want to upset you!' 'C'mon', she said, 'I can handle it!' So I had to sit there and count them all.1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, you, 10, 11, 12. _______________________________________ My wife asked me to go to the Doctors about my Erection problem .... she wasn't pleased when I came back and gave her some Slimming Pills. ____________________________________ A man donates blood to his wife after she is badly hurt in a car crash.  A few years later they go through a bitter divorce and he demands his blood back!. So she throws a tampon in his face and says, "There you go you miserable git, I'll pay you back monthly!" And the moral of this story is :- Even if a woman eventually pays back what she owes a man, there will ALWAYS be a string attached!. _________________________________________________ I was at a wedding reception when the DJ announced 'All the married men out there go and stand by the person who makes your life worth living'. The barman was crushed to death. ________________________________________ My wife asked me to help her stop sucking her thumb, so I drew a c*ck on it. ____________________________________________ I reported a dead woman lying in a field to the police. They asked me: 'How did you find her body?' I said, 'Her tits were ok, but the rigor mortis had tightened her fanny a bit too much for my liking.' _________________________________________ My wife was in the bathroom for hours getting ready to go out when finally the door swung open and she said, "Honestly, do I look fat in this ?". I replied, "Yes love, but to be fair, it's only a small bathroom".



The Great Canadian Joke Book
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